A Leap of Faith

Since my scholarship was not approved for an unknown reason, I need to shoulder all the expenses. All in all I need to pay Php2+,+++ for the first trimester, consisting of 9 units or 3 subjects, and I have to pay it in full.

The on-line enrollment preceded the release of scholarship grants; I was enrolled before I came to know the result last May 20. The night before the said day, I prayed, "Lord, gamitin mo po lahat ng ka-imposiblehan sa mundo para ma-glorify ka sa buhay ko..." Indeed, God answers prayers. The next day, I was adviced that my scholarship application was not granted. Nasabi ko tuloy, "Lord, nagkamali yata ako ng prayer last night..." (sabay tawa). Ka-imposiblehan no.1 kasi na makapag-aral ako ng M.A. na shoulder ko lahat. I survived college at DLSU-D with scholarship grant every semester by God's grace.

I was scheduled to pay the tuition fee last Saturday and have my ID picture taken but since wala naman akong cash on hand, i just attended the graduate school orientation. I still have 2 weeks to settle my account (June 7) or else I will be removed from the official class list. My class will start tomorrow and of course, I will attend. hahaha!

I keep on praying that God will provide and make a way out for me. I was contemplating if I will continue or not. But then, I still have to pay 10% of the full assessment if I will choose not to continue, that's La Salle's policy.I was weighing if I have the right motive in taking my master's degree; Am I trying to insist what I want or this is what God wants? Am I following my own calendar or is it God's perfect time?

Actually, it's fine with me if I will not take my M.A. this school year. I don't want to be a burden to my parents considering that I still have younger siblings who must pursue their elementary/secondary/undergraduate education. I will be too selfish if I will ask support from my parents.

Naalala ko pa kung pa'no ako nakasubmit ng requirements noon, na-extend lang yung date of admission nila kaya ako nakahabol. I also remembered how God led me when it comes to the course I must take (nakwento ko yata yun sa isang post ko before). At 'pag iniisip ko lahat ng hirap na yun para makapasok, ang grace ni Lord sa bawat lakad ko, at sa lahat ng answered prayers, hindi talaga ako naniniwalang hindi ako makakapag-aral. Siguro para sa'kin, scholarship lang ang naiiisip kong way para makapag-aral, but God has so many ways... some of these, I can't understand because it's beyond my comprehension.

"Pa'no ngayon ang gagawin mo? Pa'no mo yan babayaran?" yan ang madalas na tanong sakin ng mga nakakaalam ng storya. Honestly, kahit ako, 'di ko alam ang sagot, 'di ko alam kung papa'no. But one thing is certain about this, GOD IS ABLE TO DO EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY MORE THAN WHAT I ASK AND IMAGINE! (Ephesians 3:20) Whatever happens, I know God is with me. This is a deeper level of test for me. This is a big leap of faith!